Soft Skills Spotlight on Building Relationships
Nov 20, 2024
This is the latest post in a series called Soft Skills Spotlight,
where I’ll highlight the what, why, and how of one of the many essential soft skills
that go hand-in-hand with being a leader. Check out my previous post on
This week’s soft skills spotlight is on...Building Relationships
So, what is relationship building?
What does it really mean to build a relationship with your team? Simply put, it’s developing a connection with them. A genuine, authentic connection and one that goes a little deeper than surface-level conversation and an exchange of pleasantries (although that can be a good place to start as you’ll see below).
Now you don’t need to go as far as being friends with the people on your team (although that is perfectly okay in my books!), but it’s simply not enough just knowing your team members’ names, job titles, and a detailed list of their responsibilities. You need to have enough of a relationship with them to understand what motivates them, what challenges them, and what makes them them.
Building and maintaining a relationship with your team means getting to know them as an individual person, understanding what makes them tick, what they care about, and how they’ll likely react to certain situations or decisions that you need to make.
Why are relationships so important for new managers?
I’ve said many, many times before…your relationships with your team members are foundational to you being an effective leader. As a new manager, relationship building is one of the key leadership skills you need to really be intentional about developing from the start. But why does it matter? Can’t we just give them direction and call it a day? Well, no not exactly.
As a manager, you want to have an engaged team. One where there is trust, collaboration, buy-in, healthy back and forth conversations, and one where your team feels safe to express their opinions and give feedback. That’s a tall order. Now imagine expecting all that from your team when you have no connection to them, and they have no connection to you.
It's like that friend you never hear from until they want a favour or want something from you. Not only are they kind of annoying, but also you’re likely to feel a lot less motivated to help them when they haven’t shown any interest in what’s been going on with you. You may even be inclined to just say no to them.
You ask a lot of your team and when you have genuine relationships with them, they will do a lot for you in return. You will be better able to understand and support them, know what they truly want and need, and be able to speak on their behalf when you need to. This will go a looong way in leading them effectively.
Tips to for building relationships with your team
Start simple: If you are starting from scratch with a new team or a new team member, then start with the small talk. Ask if they have any plans for the weekend or if they’re binging any good TV shows right now. These things may seem trivial, but odds are you can find some common ground that can lead to a connection and that’s a good jumping off point to get to the more meaningful conversations.
Prioritize your one-on-one meetings: You know I never miss an opportunity to promote one-on-one meetings! In addition to many other benefits that come with one-on-ones, these meetings are also a great way to get to know your team members on a deeper level. The conversation may be all work related, but that’s still a great opportunity to get a better understanding of what motivates your team, what their career goals are, and what they’re passionate about.
Be present in conversations: Show genuine interest by utilizing your active listening skills and giving your team member your full attention - no checking emails or half-listening, and of course , no phones! Ask follow-up questions and acknowledge what they’ve said. It shows you value their input and helps you understand their perspective.
Want more information on active listening? Give this blog post a read > Soft Skills Spotlight on Active Listening.
Be yourself: It’s pretty hard to build a genuine relationship if you aren’t showing up as yourself. And the reality is your team does not expect you to be perfect. So, show them your quirks, share your mistakes, and let them see your personality. Not only is this the best way to build an authentic connection with each person on your team, it also sets the tone for everyone else to feel comfortable being themselves too.
Don’t stress about being perfect right away.
It’s true what they say, practice makes perfect. And the same can be said for working on your soft skills to become an effective leader.
Making connections may not come naturally to you but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done! Try to make a point of connecting with your team daily. If you need some tips on how to improve communication with your team check out this guide ⬇️
Free Download > 8 Ways to Improve Communication with Your Team
So, do you have a natural gift for building relationships? Or is it something you have to work at a little?
Let me know in the comments below!
Happy Leading!
Emily
